night of reason!
June 2013
i’m a strong believer that not everything you do needs an explanation. if you want a tattoo, get one. if you rather stay home that night, it’s okay to miss that party. don’t forget that you’re living for yourself. you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices or preferences.
I am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.
I like those friends that you dont have to talk to every day but you’re still friends even if you go weeks without talking.
why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong
its because you are worth at least 10 camels and they just cant afford you
this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me
i’m gonna pop some salt
only got a .45 in my pocket
i-i’m a huntin’, lookin’ for some demons
this is all your fault dad
i can’t even articulate the immense jealousy i have of people who are the same age as me yet have a bunch of success in life already
#i’m only truly jealous if they also have a bigger butt than i do
once i was at a party and they asked me what my dad did for a living and said that he died when i was 12 and of course i hear the collective “aaawww im so sorry”
and then i hear some girl whisper from the back “you’re halfway to becoming batman”
AND THAT IS HOW I MET ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS MORAL OF THE STORY IS IF YOU USE BLACK HUMOUR I WILL LOVE YOU
May 2013
Life is unfair. you put someone first who puts you second. you study your ass off for a final only to get a C. you give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 40%. you’re there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don’t pick up their phone. it seems like you’re giving everyone everything and they’re just walking away with it.
I don’t understand how I can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around.
Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God…
did Mary have a little lamb?
you broke the world
